Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
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