but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
