Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(905): View more from Toronto

I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone

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(919): View more from North Carolina

So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?

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(818): View more from California

Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.

(1-818): View more from California

Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on

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(661): View more from California

We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.

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(334): View more from Alabama

It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!

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(678): View more from Georgia

Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Damn victory sex feels great

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(954): View more from Florida

Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call

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