4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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