found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
