I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
