dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize