u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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