I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
