I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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