I must be too annoying 4 u.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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