She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
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We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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