Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
