I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
