I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
