Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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