omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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