winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize