it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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