Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
You can't just leave with hair like that
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
