I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize