well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
