Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
