we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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