I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
