I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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