you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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