Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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