Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
