Where are you?
In a non slutty way
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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