i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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