Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
ttyl tear gas
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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