The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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