They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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