Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
