Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
