I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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