Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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