i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
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