FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
