Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
