Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
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Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
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You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
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