Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
