4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Naked. naked and bneed help.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
