I wish I could punch you in the face.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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