And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I think we might need a safe word for this...
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
