dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
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I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
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I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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