I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
