I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
