I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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