I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
he thought i was a dude.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
