We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Randomize
