So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
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