Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
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woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
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I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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